ancalime_andune

Can we have a few MORE breaks??

2008-11-04T02:52:24Z

We just got back a week ago from our Fall break. Really, it was just a long weekend, but nice to have a little time off. Then, in four more weeks we have Thanksgiving break, and afterwards, only three weeks(ish) later, we have CHRISTMAS BREAK and the end of the semester! EEEEK! So, people think it's crazy that we have three breaks so close together. People who we talk to who went to school 10+ years ago are always commenting that they never had Fall and then Thanksgiving break (and then Christmas), so close together....

It's a good thing we do.

I thought this week was annoying, just because it started out with a paper due on Monday afternoon that I didn't even start until Monday morning. Well, I've found that there are a lot worse things happening then having to frantically write a paper in french, then find it's not printing right.....

At dinner, I got a phone call from a friend who I knew had been having difficulties (rather major, not just petty stuff like "oh, I don't like where you put your trashcan" stuff) with her roommate. She was in tears, and asked if she could stay the night in our room. After briefly thinking about our long and quite thin room, my 8:00 class, the test I'm studying for, I told her she was more than welcome.

Annie and I had just been talking, about an hour before, about how glad we were that the crap of freshman year was over. She has a friend who's going through some difficult stuff with her friends, and I was just glad I'd done all that last year........

WRONG.

So, this friend of ours comes to our room, and so does another girl who is in her suite. We were both rather surprised, but it was totally fine. She's welcome, too.

So, pretty much, our friend has gone through Hell. Both this year right now, and at the end of last school year, for things that other people have done wrong. I realize that this sounds completely narrow-minded and one-sided, but she is one of the sweetest girls I know, who is least capable of deception or malice. She has been deeply wounded, and may get kicked out of school for the faults of others. She has worked hard this year, both in academics and sports, was determined to do well and keep out of the way of any trouble. How is it that trouble has a way of finding you, even if you do your best to stay out of its way?

A little while after they had come, and we'd talked a little, with tears and tissues, we decided to go over to St. Benedict's, the parish church which is attached to our dorm. We prayed a rosary in the dark, candle-flickery, echo-y, beautiful church. I really must do it more often! It gave me peace, but I'm not sure our friend got as much as she could/should have.

So, they're here tonight, and maybe longer. We'll just wait and see what happens. I hope it all turns out for the best!!!

Daily Life

2008-10-29T21:23:16Z

I have a feeling this may turn out to be a jumble of rather rambly rambling, but hey, I may surprise myself.

Last night Annie and I, before, during and after our night class (we had a 30 minute break in the middle!) watched "Sky High". It's a pretty hilarious movie, all about superheroes in generations, about being true to yourself and your friendships, about holding grudges (rather blood-feudish), and what makes someone a hero. It was really quite enjoyable; light, fluffy, fun. But that, with reading one of Sarah's entries, and trying to get a paper written (in french) on "Diary of a Country Priest", has made me start thinking about a few things.

I've really kind of been frustrated with my life lately - it goes so incredibly fast, and sometimes I'm tired, and wonder when's the next time I can sleep, and it just ends up being one incredibly fast and not-too-interesting cycle. And it just all seems like such a waste of time! Then I realize, though, how wonderful my friends are, and even how wonderful the people are who aren't particularly my friends, but give me a smile every time I see them. That's heartening.

I just came back from my French class, in which we watched "Au bout de souffle"/"Breathless". Thinking about my own frustrations and daily difficulties, and then thinking about that movie is almost laughable. It's hard going into class having skipped the time before. I had absolutely no idea what movie we'd be watching, or what it would be about. "Au bout de souffle" takes place in Paris (where else!?). The main character is a young crook who is very smooth, who has very big lips, and smokes a lot. Supposedly he was much loved as an actor when this movie came out. So, I was completely lost in the beginning, and I'm not quite sure what happened...maybe he stole a car...anyway, the police were following him, and he ended up killing one of them. The police search begins...

He goes on living his (for him) normal life - kissing and/or sleeping with girls, stealing cars, trying to get back some money he's owed, stealing money, evading the police. The movie goes on, and he falls in love with a girl from New York, and she with him. They'd known each other before, but of course they had to go and fall in love just as the police are chasing him. So...she informs him she's pregnant. He doesn't seem to much care...and later, because she's decided she loves him, she turns him into the police, who end up killing him.

Yup, my life-problems aren't so much. And aren't French films marvelous???

* * *

Well, I did end up pretty rambly. :-/
Also, just for your information, there are some absolutely fantastic quotes in "Diary of a Country Priest". It's a rather difficult, possibly considered boring movie, but I think it's worth it, and do quite recommend it. Here they are:

"All is grace".

"God is not the master of love. He is love itself."

"You can't bargain with God. You must surrender yourself to him unconditionally."

Holy Thursday/Good Friday

2008-03-22T18:19:48Z

In response to a "Magnificat Meditation of the Day":

Barrabas

I am free, at the hands of this redragingbloodthirsty crowd.
Free. Free!
Don't they know who I am?
What I have done?
Ha! They are fools!
I have taken to the streets -- they will never find me again.

I look back, and stop.
That other man -- he stands there silent...

He must be a fool as well!
I wonder, though, why they were so hatefilled as to release me...

Their cries echo through the olddusty streets, and I wonder if that silent, bloody man does deserve death.
Don't we all?
But this man, this likely fool --
"Ecce homo!" --
is something different.

Or perhaps I have just gone soft.

Or perhaps not.

The sunfilled bricks at my feet are whispering something...
I stoop low, only just able to hear above the red rumble of the crowd behind.
"Gloria"? "Hosanna"?
What is this nonsense?
But now the mud and stone of the surrounding houses has taken up the song.
The man -- ecce homo!
There is something there, something different in this man, whose life set me free.

Willing.
Unwilling.
Unsure.
Determined.
Love. Denial.

Something there.

But it is too late to turn back, and I have passed the singing stone and humming bricks of the week before.
~~It is too late.~~

Or is it?

* * *

What did Barrabas do after being freed? Did he return to his old, murdering, thieving ways?
Or not?

P.S. Happy Easter, everyone! :)

Christmas Nerds and Icy Weather

2007-12-09T01:20:42Z

As I sit here and eat Christmas "Frosty" Nerds I'm thinking about home and Christmas and friends and driving home that long 18 hours. Annie and I are all set to finish finals Tuesday and get home late Thursday night. However, there's an ice storm "weather advisory" coming in for the midwest on Monday or Tuesday. It snowed here in Atchison two days ago, and is already icy. I'm not looking forward to it getting worse.

Wow, I just looked up and out of my window, and there are flocks of birds flying, um, I think it's east. But at least they're going somewhere. I wish I was...before Tuesday at 6:00pm.

It's time to be home.

Poem

2007-12-04T18:04:16Z

Wow, it's been a while. I just came across a random poem in a random notebook that I wrote last March, and decided that I'd like to have it somewhere before I throw away the notebook. Here goes...

* * *

One Bouquet

I have ROSES all over, covering
me like cat hair.
Their perfume is like the strongest smell of life.

I can tell I'm alive by the soft touch of crimson,
the sharp and joyous prick of fresh thorns
that caress and engulf.

Did I know before that life could be so real?
Judging by the feel of velvet between my fingers,
no.
At least, not that I can remember.

* * *

Belgiumness!

2006-08-25T02:20:39Z

Hey everyone!

Ah, back to my longlost journal!!!

This summer, in July and the beginning of August, I traveled to Belgium where I stayed with a family that we know from when the mother was an exchange student (for a while in our home). She has come back to Jackson twice since she was an exchange student, though it was quite a while ago.

When offered the chance to go, I jumped at it, but then when the plane tickets were arranged, etc, I admit I began to be extremely apprehensive...ok, I was going to stay with this family that we know, but barely, and for a month. What if they didn't like me? What if I was extremely homesick? What if? What if? What if?

Well...it all turned out better than my "what ifs" had given me thoughts for. At the end of the month I was ready to go home, but at the same time I wondered how I could be leaving. It's still really hard for me to think that they are going on without me (I know it's selfish...), growing up, experiencing daily things, etc.

While I was in Belgium I learned to definately appreciate different cultures, different languages and those who speak more than one!, late nights, wine, children and raising them, the beauty of different countries, different styles and different architectures. It was absolutely incredible, and what I want to know is...when do I get to go back?!?

ancalime_andune @ 2006-01-19T20:34:00

2006-01-20T03:44:20Z

This evening I was babysitting my choir teacher's daughter, which is a weekly thing (she's a three year old, adopted from Russia) and we were randomly playing games, but then, in a few minutes of quiet and calm (quite a surprise, sometimes), I told her that I loved her. She's seriously one of the sweetest kids I've ever met - fun and energetic, completely in to any games you play with her, and always thrilled when you walk in the door. I kissed her head and she said she loved me back. I don't know if it was the sweet innocence or the words so childishly spoken, but I was just tickled pink. Her name is Zoya, and if you ever consider adopting a child, I think it's a great idea.

My sister normally watches her with me, just for convenience' sake, but she wasn't here this time (studying for a chemistry midterm, ugh!), and she called to ask me a question or something, and I asked Zoya if she wanted to say hi, she did, and kind of rattled off in little-kid talk, plus it was a mixture of Russian and English. Neither of us had any idea what she was saying, but it was really cute.

Randomosity, but I've just been thinking about how serious and beautiful the innocence and trust of children are. Why do we have to grow up??

ancalime_andune @ 2006-01-02T14:32:00

2006-01-02T21:44:27Z

About two weeks ago I wrote a poem in my creative writing class, a "counterfeit" poem. I was copying Franz Wright's style. I think it's pretty appropriate piece to start off the new year:

The Rising

The coldest time
comes right before
dawn

I came
at
dawn

You weep under the
veil of tears
sorrows of -- lilac

and lavender

Silence. Who of you can see--
there is something here for all of you to see,
here where there is life and love and glory
breath and hope

The thunder of battles ceases

Finally the conqueror
s c a t t e r s

and breaks

the darkness

and the Sun
has risen.